50-Year-Old Janet Jackson Gives Birth to Heir to the Throne

Congratulations Janet Jackson on the birth of your son Eissa. You and that rich Count done finally got the people of that kingdom an heir to the throne.

Hupp Glo-ray in my Aunt Esther from Sanford & Son voice. And you had a BOY! Cuz you know his WHOLE FAMILY and the entire country were waiting with baited breath to see if that baby’s gender was right. You might have been ex-communicated with a girl.

I have almost fully forgiven you for how you played me bout my coins for the better part of 2016. Because of you, I delayed my surgery and then missed out on the Bad Boy Reunion Concert. So in actuality, you playing games with them almost powdered eggs and your fertility at 50, cost me TWO concerts. I did get my money back though but some interest woulda been good. I also kept your CD and didn’t run over it like i should have and even bobbed my head to some of your songs.

I still want you to get your body back though…go on tour again (this time for much cheaper because I ain’t gon’ be going into debt behind you)…and consider pulling me up onstage for your show. You can dry grind against me but not kiss me in the mouth for longer than like 3 seconds. Cuz I don’t swing that way, but you are Janet, so I’m willing to at least play along. I’m thinking you pulling dudes up onstage is played out.

That being said, I realize you’ve adopted another lifestyle and culture where you gotta be covered up AND you somebody mama now, so I understand if my wish cannot be accommodated. I do hope you release photos of that new baby soon…and tell us how to pronounce that name.#Janet #JanetJackson #Eissa #SayHisName #IfYouKnowHow #soshaydee

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